What did I lose?

You have no idea what I have lost.

And me neither.

So what is it that I've lost?
Am I ever going to be ready to wake up from this, what, numbness?

- - -

I have just met the word which is the best fit for me on the naver English dictionary !  
☞ Numb-brained

This is it.  Just the way I feel myself.  
Now I feel better :-)